Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
