i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
