Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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