yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
