If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
