therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
