This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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