hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
