you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What drink are we having for lunch?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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