I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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