We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
