He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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