he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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