i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
