I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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