During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
