I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This house was built for laser tag.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
