oh god the rape fog is back!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
