Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
