you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
