Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize