Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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