uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
