I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
