So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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