It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
