There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
