He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
