your room smells of hookers.
And success
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
