She said her name was "party"
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
