come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
