he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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