I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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