I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
