"it" just moved
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Farmville is her only friend.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How does it feel to date your dad?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i out mim tonsoeep
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