we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
