I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
