Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Michael Bay diarrhea
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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