its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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