So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
