AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize