Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
