Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
