i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
