so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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