I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so let's talk penis.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
