Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
