..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
