He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
