a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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