Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
