i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
