I feel like abortions should bother me more
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
