69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
