can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
