She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We smell like vodka and hangover
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