Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
