Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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