I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
